Sunday, December 4, 2011

Things Have Got to Start Looking Up

We are supposed to be moving to South Carolina this weekend. Mike's trucking company delayed us by messing around and giving us a load to Kansas. Then yesterday things started to look better because they assigned us a load heading toward home. So everything was set to move when we got there.

But my dad had three seizures back to back last night and had to be taken to the hospital. He stopped breathing and they had to tube him. When he got to our "band-aid" station of a local hospital, they were keeping him unconscious so he wouldn't pull the tube out. They transferred him to a hospital in another town. He is in ICU and they said ammonia is coming out of his liver.

My father is in his 70s and physically disabled. (Car accidents, a gun shot to the leg, and he broke both legs in 93' resulting in plates and screws in his legs) He has to take pain medication everyday for the severe arthritis in his legs and sometimes takes Tylenol on top of that medication, which already includes Tylenol. So we think the Tylenol is destroying his liver. He still has the tube down his throat and I am 600 miles away from the hospital.

I need to be strong and I need to keep it together but this is scaring me. Mike and my brother have plans to take the majority of our belongings to SC. Then I guess we will wait until my father gets out of the hospital to move the rest? I'm falling apart cause my dad is seriously sick, all plans we've made are falling through, and I have no idea what the future holds.

I can't even read a book to take my mind off of things. It just makes me zone out and start thinking about them. I have no close friends to talk to about this stuff cause the closest friend I had, we grew apart. And her family makes me not want to be around them. And there is no way to keep away from her family and still be friends with her. Cause I don't want to risk them finding out what is going on in my life and twisting it around and gossiping about it. It's too dangerous.

All I have is my brothers, Mike, and my parents. I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm falling down the rabbit hole.

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